WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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