dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
