I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Randomize