I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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