why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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