Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
