Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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