Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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