You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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