I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING