Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I skipped work to stalk him.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.