I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."