You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
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It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
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My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.