True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
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My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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