i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
