Sry I called you an 8
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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