The maid of honor just puked.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
