I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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