I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
