Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
