I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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