I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
