oh god the rape fog is back!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
