butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
