Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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