first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
