i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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