i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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