I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
