Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
