Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
