Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
