We're facebook friends in real life
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
