Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
