Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.

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(915): View more from Texas

so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on

(1-915): View more from Texas

who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.

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(925): View more from California

his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.

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(404): View more from Georgia

you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie

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