Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
