Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
