Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
