What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
