I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
