did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
