Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
