Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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