Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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