You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
