They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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