alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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