i don't like sucking hair
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
