one two three fourrrrnication!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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