Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
