Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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