She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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