I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
