Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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