Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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