Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
